I Miss Someone

I get so physically sick just from missing her... All the time.. All the time...

That it ends up making my stomach tie up in knots.. Constantly making me wish to throw up... Strength leaves my body.. I become weak as if ailing from sickness.. My heart pounds against my chest in a state of fear.. And great longing... As my hands clutch at the nothingness that is only memories in my head... And she will never know.. And she will never know

This raw and hoarse chorus of words leaves my lips... Fleetingly on the stillest of airs.. "I love you.. And I always will love you.." But what is it for?

But what is it for?

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Harlow · 31-35, F

Why not tell her?

SerenitiesScars · 31-35, M

@Quinn: When I went to tell her 8 years ago she didn't even want to listen.. so I couldn't even get closure.. can't completely blame her.. she had a kid with some guy at the time and thought they were going to last forever... I don't think they even made it three years together though..

Harlow · 31-35, F

@OpenArmPolicy: well love doesn't disappear but it changes. So hopefully one day you can let go & find closure in that fact that maybe you weren't meant to be. It's in the past & you can make new memories with someone else

SerenitiesScars · 31-35, M

It's been 11 years and I don't believe in moving on anymore since it never worked for me.. It's been about 5 weeks and I feel as if I'm finally moving forward with my life but it's because I'm not staying in the past or moving away from the past.. Instead I'm just picking up the pieces of the past and finally moving along with them... So that's just what I'm doing now with my life...

Harlow · 31-35, F

@OpenArmPolicy: that's a good way to deal. It's always good to acknowledge something & talking about it than bottling it up & letting it mutate inside you in to something terrible. Going with it is like riding it like a wave instead of being crushed by it. Good for you -☆^ _ ^

SerenitiesScars · 31-35, M

@Quinn: That was my problem.. I let it mutate for too long.. That's how I lost her.. That's how I ruined my life in more ways than I can count.. That's how I became a monster.. That's why even now recovering from it is going to be difficult for awhile until God performs the miracle he promised me...

Harlow · 31-35, F

@OpenArmPolicy: Healing does take time. But you picking up the pieces is proof you are getting better. Sometimes we gotta celebrate the small victories till we get to the big ones. What miracle do you seek?

SerenitiesScars · 31-35, M

@Quinn: I only hate the wasted time in being blinded for 11 years... I really screwed up.. But thanks for the kind words..

Just the one's God has promised me personally...

Harlow · 31-35, F

@OpenArmPolicy: I know what you mean. I hate the fact that I wasted time on some things too. But you do learn from them.

We do make things happen by what we think and do. Hopefully you can make your own miracles come true, or something close to it