I Am Missing Someone

Every other day I find myself thinking about my dead grandmother. She symbolically mean a lot to me. Growing up I was the middle child and looking on my interactions and past, my older sister was my mom's favorite and my younger brother was my dad's favorite. I was perfectly fine with that because I was always my grandmother's. I remember being over there every day and her being proud of how fast I learned things with my photographic memory and how intelligent I was. Fast forward several years to my grandmother tired of fighting to live. That day she passed away I felt like my main connection to my family was severed. I visit my parents maybe 3 times a year and even then always look to when I get to leave. I don't talk to anyone on my other grandmother's side as that link was cut when I was 14. If I couldn't pick and choose my family now I don't know where I'd be. I have grown attached to my SO's grandmother and don't know if I can bear when she passes.