I Miss Someone
And I hate it too.
I was fine but then I had a dream. Out of the blue. Doesn’t make any kind of sense but I know it doesn’t have to.
I’ve been in my feelings all day because of it but it’s whatever.
I can’t stand small talk. But I was just thinking about, small talk recently. Maybe I ought to. I could chat with with an old childhood friend and see how he’s been....but I don’t want to. I don’t care to. There’s no place for that at this time.
And then I dreamt about you...when I wasn’t thinking if anyone in particular . which doesn’t make sense to me because I wasn’t even thinking about you. Not recently, not all. I want nothing but to get rid of you.
Dreams that feel real are the worst. The way you would look at me, how soft your voice was, your playful mannerisms, etc... it was all there. You were there. Lying next to me. Expressing your fear that someone would find us out.
An odd thing to dream about but I know dreams aren’t real.
It just felt real. I remember how you looked up at me. Reluctant to speak but you spoke. I don’t remember much of what you said but it was something along the lines of you upsetting someone so you said:
“She’s mad at what I said and she threatened to tell her about us.”
But my biggest thought was:
“and what about us?”
That part doesn’t make sense to me because nothing ever came of anything..There’s nothing to hide so everything is ok.
I woke up kinda sad...because there’s nothing I can do about that but I also know that it’s not the end of the world.
I hate rom coms. I don’t like Valentine’s Day. I don’t get sappy. I don’t believe In marriage, hell..I don’t even believe in love. Im not good at expressing my emotions in words and I’m heavily guarded. Clìche right? Unfortunately so.
But I can confidently say that you might have been an exception.
And I just don’t understand anything about it. But even just saying that stings a little...
My head is heavy tonight.
I was fine but then I had a dream. Out of the blue. Doesn’t make any kind of sense but I know it doesn’t have to.
I’ve been in my feelings all day because of it but it’s whatever.
I can’t stand small talk. But I was just thinking about, small talk recently. Maybe I ought to. I could chat with with an old childhood friend and see how he’s been....but I don’t want to. I don’t care to. There’s no place for that at this time.
And then I dreamt about you...when I wasn’t thinking if anyone in particular . which doesn’t make sense to me because I wasn’t even thinking about you. Not recently, not all. I want nothing but to get rid of you.
Dreams that feel real are the worst. The way you would look at me, how soft your voice was, your playful mannerisms, etc... it was all there. You were there. Lying next to me. Expressing your fear that someone would find us out.
An odd thing to dream about but I know dreams aren’t real.
It just felt real. I remember how you looked up at me. Reluctant to speak but you spoke. I don’t remember much of what you said but it was something along the lines of you upsetting someone so you said:
“She’s mad at what I said and she threatened to tell her about us.”
But my biggest thought was:
“and what about us?”
That part doesn’t make sense to me because nothing ever came of anything..There’s nothing to hide so everything is ok.
I woke up kinda sad...because there’s nothing I can do about that but I also know that it’s not the end of the world.
I hate rom coms. I don’t like Valentine’s Day. I don’t get sappy. I don’t believe In marriage, hell..I don’t even believe in love. Im not good at expressing my emotions in words and I’m heavily guarded. Clìche right? Unfortunately so.
But I can confidently say that you might have been an exception.
And I just don’t understand anything about it. But even just saying that stings a little...
My head is heavy tonight.
