Anxious
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Courage is sometimes depicted as something partially joyful, especially when in the context of militancy, I guess, but then Is there any joy

when we act in a courageous way? I try to be courageous right now, and I feel like I'm looking for the little joy that would help, but there's none.
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I think that the reward of courage is knowing in retrospect that you recognized but set aside the knowledge that whatever it is will probably not be to your benefit, but it’s important enough to do anyway.