Weight loss , meh

Losing weight isn’t something to grieve it’s something I needed to do , this sounds bizarre .. it’s gonna sound even more freaky but there was a time when I felt like being physically pretty was so f^^king wrong

Like I had no right to be

Because I was resented and treated badly when I was so foolishly or perhaps wisely depending on how you see it I let myself go

I started gaining weight , content in the feelings that I wouldn’t be bothered. I wouldn’t have to take hate from those who felt insecure around me from their own self esteem issues

I figured I may as well just be chub chick with a bubbly personality

Ugh what a loser I was for being so hard on myself from the pain i experienced from others

I was so wrong

There’s nothing wrong with being physically fit and ~ or pretty

There’s nothing wrong with being a big girl either

What matters is what we carry inside of us and yes I was my own worst enemy from my own dumb insecurities

That was then ~ but this is now

And today I have finally found my way


[media=https://youtu.be/g2gy1Evb1Kg]

People can be cruel but that’s who they are not who I should become

We are all guilty of self destruction in some ways , then some of us wake up to how we can change and with that we help others … right ?

I guess deep down I didn’t mind being a fat cat ( makes fun of myself )