I Have a Confession

Who am I really fooling? My peers who look up to me, or myself? Yes, I am capable of holding the highly intellectual discussions I am quite known for. That is what's saddening. The fact that, I can do that, yet I do terrible at school. No one should look up to me. I'm a failure. What did I do this past two years? Nothing but slack off. I slacked off horribly. I never did my homework. I never had an F in a class before. Sure, my year-to-date for that class ended up being a B, but how is a 3.4 GPA close to being spectacular? All because I didn't try. I was lazy. I used to hold a 3.8GPA without trying, and with some effort, I'd have pulled a 4.0. I don't know what happened after 9th grade. It feels even worse when everyone expects me to be the one person they are sure has straight A's.But what hurts the most is not the fact I disappointed them, but the fact that I disappointed myself.

And what? I expect to get into Princeton with an 1820 SAT Super score and a 3.4 GPA? The cake isn't exactly a lie—it exists, but I will never reach it. Not at this point. At one point, I probably could have. But now, all my hopes and dreams have been shattered. The only thing that could prevent me from falling through the ice is a few technical papers on four theories I have developed. These theories are not child's play, and as such, are my last chance. My entire future depends on me getting into a good college. If I don't... I'm ruined. And with this in mind, I still goofed. With this in mind, I'm sitting here typing this up instead of studying for the SAT Subject Tests on Math II and Physics that I'm not fully prepared for. I should be fine on for the Math II, but I'm screwed for the Physics.

But still... my entire future depends on these few papers I write. Even if my theories are wrong, Princeton would recognize my effort, and hopefully let me in. My entire future depends on it. If not, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Any less and I'm not qualified enough for credibility. Princeton is #1 in Cosmology and #3 in Topology (or the other way around). There is nothing better to balance the two desired majors.

How is that for Chaos Theory? Write these papers well, and I save my arse. Don't, and my entire future is shattered. All down to this one small thing I can't even guarantee will save my arse...

Oh woe; why hath I brought this burden unto myself? Why dost thou not realize I am not as respectable as thoust respects me? Oh woe; I can do very many things; however, poor organization and procrastination be the bane of my existence.

What have I done? What have I done? What have I done...
*crumples into a heap*

BarvoDelancy

*hug*

ALL IS NOT LOST. Take a bit to deal with your realisation but don't let it defeat you, let it motivate you. Remember this rule, and it's a hard one: someone of moderate intelligence who works hard will go farther than a genius who procrastinates. You have not destroyed your future though.

A few things you need to focus on:

- You can retake classes and the SAT (I'm Canadian but Google tells me you can do that)

- Grades are the #1 consideration for the Ivy League. They are not the only ones. You need to look at your extracurriculars, recommendation letters, and strength of your personal essay. How are your extracurriculars and do you have recommendations lined up?

- Princeton is never a guarantee for anyone. You need a Plan B and Plan C, even ambitious ones.

- There is no shame in taking a gap year to make yourself more appealing to Princeton.

- You've worked on a few theories. Who knows about them? Who have you shown them to? If you've done something remarkable for someone your age, then you need to get some notoriety off of that before you start applying. Are there professors you respect you can show your work to? If you can get even a small amount of notoriety before you hit the application process, that will help.

You are too smart to not succeed wildly and even if you do not find yourself in Princeton -you have not ruined your life-. Good luck and remember to keep busy. Busy people work harder - I struggle with procrastination to this day and that's the #1 thing I use to keep me motivated.