I Have a Confession

It's coming down to where I can feel myself making that decision. Pretty soon I'm either going to die at my own hands or I'm going to escape somewhere. I feel this restlessness and dissatisfaction in my spirit, and I'm not happy. But ironically, I'd be happy with my decision to escape....

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Ladyofemotions · 31-35, F

A request, no. I don't even know I just had to record how I'm feeling and I decided to put it here.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Ladyofemotions You realize you sort of handed us ... me, at least, an obligation?

Ladyofemotions · 31-35, F

Okay...you don't necessarily have to feel that way. I find it's easier for me to express my true thoughts than to the people I do know. I don't want them worrying or anything, I just want out

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Ladyofemotions I can relate to wanting out. There are ways out without taking that drastic step. If you don’t want to worry the people you know, why would you be willing to burden them with losing you and forever wondering what they might/should have done to change things?

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Ladyofemotions I can’t help feeling that way. You are human, I am human. We’re in this ship together.

Ladyofemotions · 31-35, F

It'd be a lot easier with me gone. No responsibilities etc. I don't want to hurt anyone, life is just not good for me right now. And I'm waiting on a job so I can move out for the summer and be on my own than be a dependent...and of not, then I don't know

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Ladyofemotions I made that same decision about thirty years ago. Fortunately I failed.

The years since then, most of them, have been rich and rewarding and altogether lovely.

Keep this in mind. Anything you get yourself into, you can get yourself out of.

My PM is open if you want to talk.

Ladyofemotions · 31-35, F

Thanks.