I Have a Confession

I am afraid to start a conversation with a woman and approach them! I was bullied my entire years growing up, relentlessly, backstabbed, and had a really hard time making friends. This obviously took everything I had inside of me and threw it all away. I am just starting to build my self confidence back up after never having any. I find it so hard to look a woman in the eye and smile or even say hi. I've come a long way with my recovery, but I can't get past that step. I've tried so many times and failed miserably. I look at myself in the mirror and see nothing. I could just imagine what they're thinking of me. What is so hard about talking to a woman. I've had 1 girlfriend my entire life 6 years ago, and she ended up cheating on me....go figure!! I just wish I didn't have to feel this way. I'll get to the point of making verbal or eye contact, and my brain will just shut down and pull away. I just feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. Why does it come so easy for some people?!!