I Have a Confession
When my mind demands freedom in flight, my heart roots itself into the labyrinth of love. I've been a sojourner of false lovers, but now I'm drowned by the flood.
He is incredible. Every morning, we text till night. Talking about everything and nothing and all the fissures in between the draw. I have secretly felt this way for months, although we have been friends for a year. I'm only afraid to actually tell him, because if I do, he might run away like the others once did. But he's so caring and loving. He makes me happy and he tells me I make him happy.
He restores me when I am weakened. He has called me beautiful and has said "I love you too" once after I told him during a friendly phone call. Yes, these things may come off as petty, but I cling to what we have for it is beautiful and marvelously here. He was the one tht convinced me to break up with my now ex who was abusive and neglected me on purpose. He helped me. And I am now forever in debt.
The vices of my attraction involve three things:
1) He is 6 years older than me. The thing is, he doesn't allow the difference to distance himself away from me. He's honest, open, and genuinely cares. But I think that because of our age difference, he remains appropriate and keeps any flirting to a low. I feel, unlike my ex (Who was older as well) me and him are on the same level. I do not have to stand taller and he does not have to bend in order to understand me. He accepts me... And we just.. bond.
2)He has a female friend that he likes a lot. Obviously that's self-explanatory. Although he doesn't mention her often, when he does, he's happy. It's sweet to know he has someone on his mind. I encourage him as much as I can. I just want him to be happy.
3) We live in two different states. This sounds just pathetic. I really didn't assume I'd fall for someone over EP, but gosh, he's an exception. We plan on using Skype soon. We already text, email, and everything. I also want to start using correspondence with him... We have spoken about being neighbors, or going on a simple date together when we meet up.
So, yes. This is how I feel. I'm too shy to tell him, as well as confused. I don't want to ruin an amazing friendship over a crush, so I'm zipping my lips. I just wish things were simple. I wish I could kiss him.
He is incredible. Every morning, we text till night. Talking about everything and nothing and all the fissures in between the draw. I have secretly felt this way for months, although we have been friends for a year. I'm only afraid to actually tell him, because if I do, he might run away like the others once did. But he's so caring and loving. He makes me happy and he tells me I make him happy.
He restores me when I am weakened. He has called me beautiful and has said "I love you too" once after I told him during a friendly phone call. Yes, these things may come off as petty, but I cling to what we have for it is beautiful and marvelously here. He was the one tht convinced me to break up with my now ex who was abusive and neglected me on purpose. He helped me. And I am now forever in debt.
The vices of my attraction involve three things:
1) He is 6 years older than me. The thing is, he doesn't allow the difference to distance himself away from me. He's honest, open, and genuinely cares. But I think that because of our age difference, he remains appropriate and keeps any flirting to a low. I feel, unlike my ex (Who was older as well) me and him are on the same level. I do not have to stand taller and he does not have to bend in order to understand me. He accepts me... And we just.. bond.
2)He has a female friend that he likes a lot. Obviously that's self-explanatory. Although he doesn't mention her often, when he does, he's happy. It's sweet to know he has someone on his mind. I encourage him as much as I can. I just want him to be happy.
3) We live in two different states. This sounds just pathetic. I really didn't assume I'd fall for someone over EP, but gosh, he's an exception. We plan on using Skype soon. We already text, email, and everything. I also want to start using correspondence with him... We have spoken about being neighbors, or going on a simple date together when we meet up.
So, yes. This is how I feel. I'm too shy to tell him, as well as confused. I don't want to ruin an amazing friendship over a crush, so I'm zipping my lips. I just wish things were simple. I wish I could kiss him.
22-25, F
