I Have a Confession

i am really messed up ...  today have  a argument with my father and i know i was wrong i miss behave i said sorry to him ...but  i am  confuse stub born  and annoyed right now .. i  want to see urooj(ex fience suffer) i want to cry i am angry  same time really trying to  be normal but its hard to be normal lots of think are going in my mind my family is going to  arrange my marriege  with a girl ame mavra she is nice but i  am not over with my ex fience .... i am just dont know what to do i have gone silent in this situation..my mom ask me do u want to marry i dont know what to say  i just  say do what ever u want i am ok with it .. but deep down i dont know i am ok or not..my job is  bit tension ba<x>se job work load is high and dont know what to do..really annoyed and  really tense..just want to leave my job  but i cant.... right now i want to scream so laod that all  my heart sorrow all my  tension all confusion would  come out in my scream...i dont know what to do with my life right now should i go to forign country  for a job ..should say yes to mavra for marriege  what should i do i dont know .... my luck is not good i kinow bad things happen with me a lot