I Have a Confession

in 2003 my father betrayed us... it was a shocking  moment for me because he was ideal personality for me .. that change alot in me and then i dont look any one as my ideal.... after 3 years in 2006 my grand father who was  a great men and a part of my life died in accident that change alot and broke me apart..he only want me to be the most qualified person in family ..now i am doing double mba now ...in 2009 i have a fight with my father and was thrown out of the house i live in a park and sleep on a bench for 1 month ... i have only 500 rps in my pocket and i survive 1 month.. but after one month my grand mother make my father to realize about me and he called me back home...  i same year 209  i was ill and face stomach cancer 1st stage  i pray to god do some thing good in my life so then he bring urooj in my life ..i love her more then any thing .but things were not going good  between our families ....and in 2012 urooj left me and is going to marry another person.... i am broke apart now and cant come back to my life routine i am ill also  from 3 weeks and cant sleep .and i am afraid now in 2015 what will god do ..what will be the bad experience i would be facing... i just dont want to live any more just want to die ....this is my life summary in short .