I am lucky to be loved by my son and my dog, but some times it hits me,

I'm super alone. I'm generally disliked. I've been blocked so much here I can't participate in posts. Everyone I know IRL is done with me even though I continually make an effort. My parents, my friends, passed away.

Nobody would give af if I croaked and my son would have no one.

And this is after recovering from being a people pleaser. So I finally built my own identity and people hate me. At least before I was just invisible. Now people actively avoid me.

I know I'm not supposed to care, but I think everyone that thinks that has people they can trust. They don't really get it what it is to need help, medically, mentally and be so afraid of anything happening to me because my son would go into the system.

It's why I don't drink, don't date, I drive careful, I treat people with respect, I work, I stay out of trouble.

Maybe I'm so boring now. Maybe I care and people are happier faking it till they make it.

All I know is I'm tired of being dirt.

Maybe that's what I am though. Enough people treat you that way over your life span, maybe it's better to start believing them and go away.