I've had enoughh🤦♂️
At work some people look so uncomfortable talking to me when I serve them. Maybe I'm being awkward, I mean I feel a bit nervous but I still try smile and try my hardest to be as nice as possible
22-25, F
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You're focusing on yourself too much. When your attention keeps switching between the person you're talking to and how you imagine you look through their eyes, then how you sound, then back to them, then how awkward you feel and worrying if they feel awkward, then back to them, then "SHIT! AM I SMILING?". It's disorienting as fuck. Of course you're going to feel uncomfortable and anxious. I had a semi panic attack just writing that!
Try to focus outward and project yourself instead of inwardly and analysing yourself. Just focus on the purpose of the interaction. The mind has an annoying habit of complicating things. So simplify it. All that's happening is you have to give these people information that you know. They don't care how perfectly it's delivered. They're not there to judge a most confident waitress competition (I'm assuming you're a waitress). Their focus is on the information you're giving them. So you just do the same. Know what I mean? Like, you probably have an image of a perfect waitress in your mind with a natural big smile that shits confidence and you're trying to act like that. Well, fuck that bitch. She's not a real person. It's just a character some are good at playing. So you're not an awkward person, you're just uncomfortable being that fake. That's not a bad thing in my opinion. Try smiling with your eyes instead of your mouth, it's less effort and it looks more genuine and don't worry about fumbling or saying a word wrong, that shits funny. Just chuckle at yourself and BAM! You're instantly more likeable!
Anyway just remember you're far from the only person that feels awkward in these situations, the vast majority of people are uncomfortable around eachother because we are too protective of our reputations and it stops us expressing ourselves naturally. So we're all just wandering around acting like what we assume other people expect or want us to be. It's an empty depressing feeling. Unfortunately we role play all the time depending on our surroundings, we just don't really notice it until we have to play a role we don't feel comfortable playing. Then it's a cringeworthy nightmare! But if you try to forget about being perfect then it definitely takes the edge off 🙂.
Just don't be too hard in yourself because nobody is judging you as much as you're judging yourself.
Ok, hope some of this shit is useful 🙂
Try to focus outward and project yourself instead of inwardly and analysing yourself. Just focus on the purpose of the interaction. The mind has an annoying habit of complicating things. So simplify it. All that's happening is you have to give these people information that you know. They don't care how perfectly it's delivered. They're not there to judge a most confident waitress competition (I'm assuming you're a waitress). Their focus is on the information you're giving them. So you just do the same. Know what I mean? Like, you probably have an image of a perfect waitress in your mind with a natural big smile that shits confidence and you're trying to act like that. Well, fuck that bitch. She's not a real person. It's just a character some are good at playing. So you're not an awkward person, you're just uncomfortable being that fake. That's not a bad thing in my opinion. Try smiling with your eyes instead of your mouth, it's less effort and it looks more genuine and don't worry about fumbling or saying a word wrong, that shits funny. Just chuckle at yourself and BAM! You're instantly more likeable!
Anyway just remember you're far from the only person that feels awkward in these situations, the vast majority of people are uncomfortable around eachother because we are too protective of our reputations and it stops us expressing ourselves naturally. So we're all just wandering around acting like what we assume other people expect or want us to be. It's an empty depressing feeling. Unfortunately we role play all the time depending on our surroundings, we just don't really notice it until we have to play a role we don't feel comfortable playing. Then it's a cringeworthy nightmare! But if you try to forget about being perfect then it definitely takes the edge off 🙂.
Just don't be too hard in yourself because nobody is judging you as much as you're judging yourself.
Ok, hope some of this shit is useful 🙂
Itsprincess · 22-25, F
Awh that's the most helpful thing I've read! I swear next time I'm gonna be amazing I know it😂 I now realize that the times I've been real good at it (yeah waitressing you're right lol) were when I wasn't analysing myself, and then I felt comfortable and happy enough to smile. Thank you so much I'm gonna live longer now bc I won't be having that anxiety every time 😂😊
Don't mention it. I have the upmost faith that you will be 🙂.
Everyone feels like that in certain situations. Just think about when you're at home or talking to pals. You forget you even exist, you just go with the flow. Facial expressions, words, body language, it all just flows naturally. But when you're trying to play a role (like being the perfect bubbly happy waitress) suddenly you're very aware of everything you do. It just feels like you're a bad actor or something lol.
So just focus on the purpose of the conversation and your charm will naturally shine through.
Socialising is just like a game we play. It's fun when you're a kid but then you're an adult and it feels more like a competition and we put wayy too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Sucks the joy out of life ya'know? So just be easy on yourself. I'm sure you'll always be perfect in someone's eyes, no matter how you pronounce prawn lol
Everyone feels like that in certain situations. Just think about when you're at home or talking to pals. You forget you even exist, you just go with the flow. Facial expressions, words, body language, it all just flows naturally. But when you're trying to play a role (like being the perfect bubbly happy waitress) suddenly you're very aware of everything you do. It just feels like you're a bad actor or something lol.
So just focus on the purpose of the conversation and your charm will naturally shine through.
Socialising is just like a game we play. It's fun when you're a kid but then you're an adult and it feels more like a competition and we put wayy too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Sucks the joy out of life ya'know? So just be easy on yourself. I'm sure you'll always be perfect in someone's eyes, no matter how you pronounce prawn lol
Itsprincess · 22-25, F
Well I used to analyse myself way too much too. I hated how I felt the need to play different roles depending on what I was doing. It felt fake and I was like "I don't even know who the fuck I am now". Like, I analysed everything so much everything I did felt like a forced effort. Then one day for some reason it all just made sense and I gave up worrying about my reputation and how I looked through other people's eyes and everything just started to flow naturally and easy again. Like when I was a kid, but manly as fuck lol.
I think it's that age you're at. You're trying to figure out what an adult you should be like. It gets so much easier when you stop judging yourself though and trying to force yourself to be more like this or that.
You'll be fine. Just stop putting so much pressure on yourself and trust me, one day you won't let other people's judgment hold you back from being and doing whatever the fuck you want 🙂.
Did I even answer your question? I probably did in there somewhere lol
I think it's that age you're at. You're trying to figure out what an adult you should be like. It gets so much easier when you stop judging yourself though and trying to force yourself to be more like this or that.
You'll be fine. Just stop putting so much pressure on yourself and trust me, one day you won't let other people's judgment hold you back from being and doing whatever the fuck you want 🙂.
Did I even answer your question? I probably did in there somewhere lol
Itsprincess · 22-25, F
@Imwearingjeans: haha I see what you mean😋 But literally trying to please everyone is so tiring no wonder you thought fuck it😴 Omg yeah! Like everyone expects me to act a certain way if they know that I'm 18 (an adult😒) but some people think I'm about 16 still so not everyone luckily😅 Alright thanks 😊 Lmao yes you did obviously 👀
@Itsprincess: Exactly, you can't please everyone but it's surprisingly easy to please yourself once you stop that bitch in your head criticising everything you do lol.
I mean caring what other people think and wanting to be accepted is just natural. But you've only got so many fucks to give and you can't go giving a fuck about everyone's opinion. Choose your fucks wisely is what I'm saying and give them to those who give you their fucks in return. If not you'll of given all your fucks away for nothing and you'll just be standing there all out of fucks. Completely Fuckless! Haha. Damn! That was some good wisdom. Surprise myself sometimes, I really do 🙂.
I hate that! You're supposed to act an age. AN AGE? So you're meant to act like 18 year old itsprincess or 18 year old Adolf Hitler. It's not very specific is it. No offence but most 18 year olds are a pain in the ass anyway, so don't do that 😋.
Well, I hope you're feeling more positive about your work situation now anyway.
I mean caring what other people think and wanting to be accepted is just natural. But you've only got so many fucks to give and you can't go giving a fuck about everyone's opinion. Choose your fucks wisely is what I'm saying and give them to those who give you their fucks in return. If not you'll of given all your fucks away for nothing and you'll just be standing there all out of fucks. Completely Fuckless! Haha. Damn! That was some good wisdom. Surprise myself sometimes, I really do 🙂.
I hate that! You're supposed to act an age. AN AGE? So you're meant to act like 18 year old itsprincess or 18 year old Adolf Hitler. It's not very specific is it. No offence but most 18 year olds are a pain in the ass anyway, so don't do that 😋.
Well, I hope you're feeling more positive about your work situation now anyway.
Itsprincess · 22-25, F
@Itsprincess: I'm glad you could understand it, we must be on the same wave length lol.
Exactly, if they want you to act like an 18 year old they could at least give you a specific one. It's like telling someone "draw the cloud I'm thinking of right now". Then they're surprised when you don't get it right first time! It's good that you think about this though. Your personality is something you should be aware of and try to mould it consciously other than just being a victim of circumstance or doing what most people do and just become what they do for a living. You know, like car salesman. There's thousands of them and they're all exactly the same fucking guy! How is that possible? Or goths! Have you ever met a goth who played football? I rest my case 😌.
Haha no I didn't mean you. I meant all the other 18 year olds are annoying, I'm sure you're the exception 😋.
Exactly, if they want you to act like an 18 year old they could at least give you a specific one. It's like telling someone "draw the cloud I'm thinking of right now". Then they're surprised when you don't get it right first time! It's good that you think about this though. Your personality is something you should be aware of and try to mould it consciously other than just being a victim of circumstance or doing what most people do and just become what they do for a living. You know, like car salesman. There's thousands of them and they're all exactly the same fucking guy! How is that possible? Or goths! Have you ever met a goth who played football? I rest my case 😌.
Haha no I didn't mean you. I meant all the other 18 year olds are annoying, I'm sure you're the exception 😋.
Itsprincess · 22-25, F
Itsprincess · 22-25, F
Itsprincess · 22-25, F