do you think its normal to think about suicide

I think so. People like to take the path of least resistance. We don't like being challenged, which sucks because that's all life really is. So to kind of avoid having to deal with those challenges, we employ all sorts of defense mechanisms to get around it. Sometimes we'll resort to suicide when the challenges are too abstract to find a solution for. I know I do.

I think about suicide at least once a week, usually more. I've held a loaded gun to my head more than a hundred times by now. And it's not even that I want to die. I just don't want to keep living this way and don't know how to stop. It's what I think a lot of people would resort to if they found themselves stuck in the same situation. There's just no guidance or answers to help us cope with our problems otherwise