I broke up with my now ex last night.

He opened up about struggling to find me sexually attractive so I told him that that's okay. You can't force attraction. I deserve to be with someone whose dick gets hard just looking at me as much as he deserves to feel that way about someone else. I told him I'm fucking hot and I know it and I deserve someone who does too. I told that I release him to find the person he's looking for. After that we said our goodbyes and I blocked and deleted his number,deleted all photos of us and threw away half the birthday gift he got me. The other one is a 2000 pieces puzzle of a sunflower field,sunflowers are my favorite flower so I'm keeping it. I walking forward and not looking back like Lot's wife. I'm not going to turn into a pillar of salt, I'm going to become wiser,stronger and happier than I've ever been. I refuse to internalize how someone else feels about my body. I'm not ugly or insufficient, I'm just not his physical type,that doesn't mean I'm not someone else's type🤷🏿‍♀.Gay men don't find me attractive,straight women don't find me attractive and neither did my ex, that's called biology. The only thing that upsets me is that instead of telling me he kept pretending to be attracted to me. We were frequently intimate so it came as a shock to me. If I knew I would've ended it a long time ago. He wasted my time. I could've been emotionally healed right now and instead I'm struggling to do my job because I'm grieving a relationship that never existed,a relationship in which a man was attracted to me. I have lost 130lbs so I have loose skin. My breast sag because I'm naturally an A cup but due to the weight I ballooned all the way to a D cup so they're deflated. I have stretch marks all over my body and a lot of cellulite. I have the body of a survivor, the body of a person who worked hard to transform herself,to save her own life. My body went from being morbidly obese to being a healthy BMI. I've kept off the weight for 6 years and I did it naturally with no surgery or GLP 1. My high-school uniform is loose on me. I have scars from cutting and burning myself back before I got help for my bipolar. I have crease on my forehead from 30 years of how raising my forehead,usually as people tell me their stories. In high-school a classmate said she enjoyed telling me stories because of how my face reacts. 30 years of active listening has left its mark on my face and I am proud of it. I've seen a lot of women die getting surgeries they didn't need because they were chasing a body they felt would give them fulfillment and instead they lost their lives. I watched a video of a husband crying talking about having to take his wife off of life support because of complications that arose from a botched mommy make over which is a procedure in which a woman gets a tummy tuct,breast augmentation and a butt lift. She lost weight and she said she wanted to look how she did when she was younger. Now her husband,who loved her as is and tried to talk her out of it is a widow and her children have to grow up without their mother. I will glady live out the rest of my life in this saggy skin than lose my life. There's a man out there who like her husband,will love me and be attracted to me as I am. So there you have it my SW family, another one bites the dust.