I think I need a change of life. stop drinking, but I also need to find positive of life despite hell

I don't know how to find it. I see no hope what I see in this life, but I have to make it up of how...I've been living in this depression secretly for so long. I am only a pathetic human like so how? I need God's help.

and don't take it the wrong way. we are all pathetic falling from God's grace.