Some of us have to live knowing nobody chooses us.
I'm looking at myself deeper but also trying to not be too harsh.
Not everyone fits the mold and that doesn't make us less deserving, yet it doesn't change the outcome, nobody chooses us.
We are told over and over it will happen one day but it doesn't. If we just do this or that. Tbh the people telling us this also don't choose us and wouldn't even if we did all the things they suggested.
I think I should just like to be myself and have that be enough for once in my life. I fear what that means long term and I can't express enough how tired I am of isolation. I just can't seem to get out of my shell. Feeling everything, people's push and pull doesn't feel safe. One moment you are so special to them, the next you're down on the list. It's human nature/hierarchy and I try to be patient with it but I also wish so hard that it didn't work that way. That love was a free energy and not something we ration. That is selfish of me though in a species fixated on boundaries and possession.
This is just a Wendy's right.
Not everyone fits the mold and that doesn't make us less deserving, yet it doesn't change the outcome, nobody chooses us.
We are told over and over it will happen one day but it doesn't. If we just do this or that. Tbh the people telling us this also don't choose us and wouldn't even if we did all the things they suggested.
I think I should just like to be myself and have that be enough for once in my life. I fear what that means long term and I can't express enough how tired I am of isolation. I just can't seem to get out of my shell. Feeling everything, people's push and pull doesn't feel safe. One moment you are so special to them, the next you're down on the list. It's human nature/hierarchy and I try to be patient with it but I also wish so hard that it didn't work that way. That love was a free energy and not something we ration. That is selfish of me though in a species fixated on boundaries and possession.
This is just a Wendy's right.
