Good morning.. Course correction day

I won't get out of bed today.. I will, I will..
Yesterday was a pretty intense day.
The eclipse revealed things for me that I now have to be serious about. Fk that sh1t though!
I want to be playful not serious.
So when there's a need to be serious I know, when I need to be guarded I know..

I failed yesterday.
Unknowingly I have returned to a past behavior of being a hoe, giving my energy away despite it being clear of how it's not what I want. This time the situation had a different facade, instead of my poor me going after love, it was going after money, growth opportunities. Nevermind, I take notes and won't be hoeing any longer.
Lessons.

I'm not sure I can trust men to work with any longer, or perhaps I can't trust myself with them. I took a bait out of necessity, unsafety and greed. I feel a little grossed out. I didn't come to any agreement, but I took a bait, moved away from myself, became performative and gave access to parts that the business man I met with didn't earn with goodwill.

I am going out to get a coffee and will return back in my couch.. Stay in a snugglish attitude until I gain some strength back and clarity.
No worries it was nothing but a conversation. A conversation that left me feeling like hoeing and losing my power.