I reached maximum sadness and boredom for people who would watch me deteriorate into nothing.

While telling me how much they love me.

I don't know what love actually feels like.

I feel it for others, but it's only ever been a reason to drain me.

I don't want to give up, but I fear I'm not lovable, just usable. And maybe that's how people have always been. That's why I'm so empty. And then I get blamed for being a lover.

Seriously, this fox is done chasing.

Top | New | Old

Adroneandastrain · 46-50, M

Chasing indeed is not going to be of any use. Rest, be still. There's a hymn that goes "Be still and know that he's God." I don't mean to endorse religion here, but the concept there may be topical at least here. In the chase what has always been there was not noticed, which can only be noticed when still, and have the thoughts settled. You definitely deserve love, and most definitely not just to be used. I hope for you that when there's a settled state, that itself will reveal the things in life that even to mention would sound like I wasn't even understanding what it's about, because the focus will then be so shifted to something else. 🫂

Add a comment...