Don't worship that grave
One time when I was about 15 or so I went to my moms room and she was lying down reading a book, as always. I used to like to lay next to her to either talk or just exist side by side. Or read my own book next to her. This particular time we were talking about life.
I told her that suddenly "it all made sense". A mental "whoosh" moment. That suddenly I could feel it all and see it all...it was like a cosmic epiphany. I don't know why I had this epiphany. At the time I had done zero dr*gs and (besides a sip of my dads beer can once) had zero alcohol my entire life. Not even any medications.
Her reaction seemed like what most parents reaction would be, a "hm" and "can you explain?"
I couldn't really explain, because it was beyond words...like beyond language.
Still now I can't explain but I was reminded of it while watching "The Vampire Lestat" (TV show), the kind of spinoff of "Interview with the Vampire" (TV show).
Just the eternal nature of the subject.
Life, death, love, creation.
Things that existed before time and language.
Religion.
My take has always been that "all roads lead to one".
All of these names and things we have for entities and creators etc etc etc.... all filler noise.
It doesn't have a name....humans just named it. Named things.
I guess "the creator" is the name? In English anyway.
A name for everything now.
Anyway, a line in the show was "don't worship that grave"...about people who have passed.
That lingered with me.
Every day is a gift....a true gift. Breath in my lungs, legs that move me, green trees and grass and a blue sky that surround me, a warm sun to sink into me. Things that are free.
It might not be your experience but I am solely talking about my mine.
It is only the past that makes me sad, but it is the past....it's over...it's done....
"No amount of regret can change the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future".
The present is literally THE present.
I could sit at my mom and dads graves forever...they still aren't coming back.
Sometimes we cling to the past because it is the last link to what we have lost....we don't want to let go, lest we lose it.
But they will always have been my parents. My old friends will always have been my friends. Past partners, good or bad, will have always been there.
But the present and future is where the focus needs to be.
ALL the focus should be on curating a good life currently, and making good choices for the future.
That is literally it.
I told her that suddenly "it all made sense". A mental "whoosh" moment. That suddenly I could feel it all and see it all...it was like a cosmic epiphany. I don't know why I had this epiphany. At the time I had done zero dr*gs and (besides a sip of my dads beer can once) had zero alcohol my entire life. Not even any medications.
Her reaction seemed like what most parents reaction would be, a "hm" and "can you explain?"
I couldn't really explain, because it was beyond words...like beyond language.
Still now I can't explain but I was reminded of it while watching "The Vampire Lestat" (TV show), the kind of spinoff of "Interview with the Vampire" (TV show).
Just the eternal nature of the subject.
Life, death, love, creation.
Things that existed before time and language.
Religion.
My take has always been that "all roads lead to one".
All of these names and things we have for entities and creators etc etc etc.... all filler noise.
It doesn't have a name....humans just named it. Named things.
I guess "the creator" is the name? In English anyway.
A name for everything now.
Anyway, a line in the show was "don't worship that grave"...about people who have passed.
That lingered with me.
Every day is a gift....a true gift. Breath in my lungs, legs that move me, green trees and grass and a blue sky that surround me, a warm sun to sink into me. Things that are free.
It might not be your experience but I am solely talking about my mine.
It is only the past that makes me sad, but it is the past....it's over...it's done....
"No amount of regret can change the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future".
The present is literally THE present.
I could sit at my mom and dads graves forever...they still aren't coming back.
Sometimes we cling to the past because it is the last link to what we have lost....we don't want to let go, lest we lose it.
But they will always have been my parents. My old friends will always have been my friends. Past partners, good or bad, will have always been there.
But the present and future is where the focus needs to be.
ALL the focus should be on curating a good life currently, and making good choices for the future.
That is literally it.
