I don't want to fight today

I don't know why I feel this way I been like this for 4 days. I feel that there's a heavy load on my chest, my heart aches and I feel like crying everytime a person speaks to me. I also can't stand anyone I get irritated when I'm spoken to. I don't care about the show I'm watching or a sort of a spiritual thing I been doing.

I'm also upset because yesterday my brother pissed me off again and I went outside full of rage I called my best friend and I wanted to see him and talk about many things that are bothering me but he was busy doing something with his friend so I just went for a weird walk just circling around one spot looking miserable and now today I'm not even sure if I still want to talk about anything.

Today I'm supposed to wear my new shirt and sneakers and put on some cologne and go meet a new friend. I think I still should but it also means no talking with the best friend today which can be easily done on the phone but I don't want to do that for some reason.

I'm also seeking therapy, I think I have to do it. My only choice is online or via phone call because most real therapists/psychologists are from the Capital. I believe talking to hopefully a professional is a good idea after all. I picked a woman therapist I think I'll be more comfortable with that choice. This therapy thing was from the things I wanted to talk about with the best friend.