I think I'm gonna pass out at work tomorrow.

It's getting bad. Usually when it gets bad I throw up then black out and go to the hospital. They never find anything, it's just stress. The end.

I keep going.

Keep pushing.

Black out.

Repeat.

I'm wondering how long I can go on like this.

Loneliness kills. I enjoy my alone time and space, but I don't want to live my life with no family or friends and raising a child who also has no one. This is killing me. I can feel it.

I can't fix it. I can't make anyone love me or genuinely care. I know wonderful people here but nothing replaces real life connection. So the people I appreciate here give me some hope that I could meet people just as awesome irl some day.

I'll never give up. But this continuous state of burnout isn't good for my body or mind. It's killing me.