Do you feel my brain sees her as a significant person too like Arjun was but in more positive way?
So in many of my posts i shared how much affected I was by the bullying by this guy Arjun who was my classmate in 5th to 10th grade and he especially bullied, insulted and humiliated me a lot in 8th to 10th grade so even after he was gone, I would still see dreams of him bullying even quite recently too. I still imagine those days and feel how much control he had over me in class and would make me feel helpless and trapped. The dreams still unsettled me even now. He is associated as a negative figure in my mind. But in this post I will also share about this woman Anshika who was my classmate in 1st year of MBA in mid 2023 to early 2024. I had a crush on her as after years of isolation and shyness near girls, I remember on our first day of MBA, she said me Hi and later even asked me whether I had lunch. We were both 22. So yeah I liked her for sure.
She even called me cute a few times and I gave her chocolates twice. I would blush a lot near her and she kinda knew too I had a crush on her as whole class came to know but yeah I was still a bit shy to initiate it myself with her. Then things changed in early 2024, when I got crush on this another woman Akansha and then we were no longer classmates after entering 2nd year of MBA. But 7 months ago in Nov 2025 during our MBA convocation when we were 24, I finally confidently initiated a conversation with her, surprised her with my confidence and complimented her saying she was looking cute in her outfit. Now we are 25 and i feel my brain associates her as a positive memory. Just like Arjun, I get dreams of her as well but they are more positive ones like getting hugs from her, pleasant moments etc so yeah after waking up I don't feel unsettled but feel happy and slight sadness that MBA is done and we no longer share the same environment. We are both in Bangalore still, she is North Indian and I am Bengali but still she is working somewhere in Bangalore and I am job searching. But yeah the difference is when I think of her, I feel positive and happy and when I think of Arjun, I feel unsettled and angry and the dreams fully capture that.
She even called me cute a few times and I gave her chocolates twice. I would blush a lot near her and she kinda knew too I had a crush on her as whole class came to know but yeah I was still a bit shy to initiate it myself with her. Then things changed in early 2024, when I got crush on this another woman Akansha and then we were no longer classmates after entering 2nd year of MBA. But 7 months ago in Nov 2025 during our MBA convocation when we were 24, I finally confidently initiated a conversation with her, surprised her with my confidence and complimented her saying she was looking cute in her outfit. Now we are 25 and i feel my brain associates her as a positive memory. Just like Arjun, I get dreams of her as well but they are more positive ones like getting hugs from her, pleasant moments etc so yeah after waking up I don't feel unsettled but feel happy and slight sadness that MBA is done and we no longer share the same environment. We are both in Bangalore still, she is North Indian and I am Bengali but still she is working somewhere in Bangalore and I am job searching. But yeah the difference is when I think of her, I feel positive and happy and when I think of Arjun, I feel unsettled and angry and the dreams fully capture that.
22-25, M