My mind is crowded
I feel that who ever decides to like me will do it for a catch. Why would anyone actually like me for me it doesn't make sense I have to be offering something or there's a potential that I might offer something in the future. I mean despite being alone and kinda in my own world how do I know when someone comes they'd really be interested in me and not playing mind games.
My recent experience from 2025 just showed me how naive I can be I thought I was helping someone who actually is interested in me, then what happened is that I was a part of a big fuked up game. I was chosen carefully because of a problem I deal with I was never special or anything I was just a part of the game. I did get my revenge you may say but I did learn a million things through that experience followed by the nastiest health ordeal in my life right afterwards... I didn't get to breathe in-between. in fact I think I was actually saved from maybe an even darker outcome. Like a life threatening one. Plus being saved from the health ordeal itself.
Anyway what's making me think of this is this friend I made a few days ago, the one I mentioned a few posts ago who wanted to give me a small dog. We were supposed to meet up and talk about some plans regarding photography, making videos and marketing. But then he kept giving weird vibes like mentioning he's in debt more than once waiting for a reaction from me and then he was like too clingy then he suddenly stopped talking to me after saying weird shit. I kinda almost texted him just a couple of hours ago but I decided not to, something is telling me that this is exactly what he's waiting for. It's a trap it's another kind of mind games I should be an expert by now right. At least that's what my gut feeling is telling me.
I do know what I'm going to do, I'll just end it here and run. I'm thinking maybe looking for women friends would be a cooler thing to do.. It doesn't mean it's safer but I seek new things to do men are boring. I have no idea what exactly I'll do or try but whatever happens even if nothing at least I tried.
My recent experience from 2025 just showed me how naive I can be I thought I was helping someone who actually is interested in me, then what happened is that I was a part of a big fuked up game. I was chosen carefully because of a problem I deal with I was never special or anything I was just a part of the game. I did get my revenge you may say but I did learn a million things through that experience followed by the nastiest health ordeal in my life right afterwards... I didn't get to breathe in-between. in fact I think I was actually saved from maybe an even darker outcome. Like a life threatening one. Plus being saved from the health ordeal itself.
Anyway what's making me think of this is this friend I made a few days ago, the one I mentioned a few posts ago who wanted to give me a small dog. We were supposed to meet up and talk about some plans regarding photography, making videos and marketing. But then he kept giving weird vibes like mentioning he's in debt more than once waiting for a reaction from me and then he was like too clingy then he suddenly stopped talking to me after saying weird shit. I kinda almost texted him just a couple of hours ago but I decided not to, something is telling me that this is exactly what he's waiting for. It's a trap it's another kind of mind games I should be an expert by now right. At least that's what my gut feeling is telling me.
I do know what I'm going to do, I'll just end it here and run. I'm thinking maybe looking for women friends would be a cooler thing to do.. It doesn't mean it's safer but I seek new things to do men are boring. I have no idea what exactly I'll do or try but whatever happens even if nothing at least I tried.
31-35, M
