I went out today but I wanted to cry when I got back home
The air was a bit chilly for my taste and my hands froze a bit I was afraid I might fail to get myself home on my own, in that situation I struggle to use the joystick of the wheelchair and I was alone after I left my friend. This situation is a classic for me basically. And of course my mind wouldn't leave me alone at that point.
I was scared and I kept thinking about how I keep getting weaker summer after summer and how there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. I tried to distract myself with the music in my earpods but that doesn't stop the thoughts and I kept telling myself how I could have handled the situation better I could have told my friend to keep his car at the cafe and walk me home then return for the car but instead I didn't want to burden him and just watched him leave in silence. I don't know if I'm stupid or I just like to challenge myself 🤦🏻♂
I managed to get myself home slowly but all I wanted was to cry because of everything. I should be meeting women and shit this life I'm living is not for me I never asked for any of this.
I was scared and I kept thinking about how I keep getting weaker summer after summer and how there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. I tried to distract myself with the music in my earpods but that doesn't stop the thoughts and I kept telling myself how I could have handled the situation better I could have told my friend to keep his car at the cafe and walk me home then return for the car but instead I didn't want to burden him and just watched him leave in silence. I don't know if I'm stupid or I just like to challenge myself 🤦🏻♂
I managed to get myself home slowly but all I wanted was to cry because of everything. I should be meeting women and shit this life I'm living is not for me I never asked for any of this.
31-35, M
