I am disillusioned.
I used to believe that by working a full time job, I was contributing to a higher purpose. I thought that showing up and doing work actually produced real... work.
But I've gone through a major shift in the past two years.
We contribute only to a false economy full of unsustainable systems that create negative externalities, for a God who probably doesn't exist, in a country whose government purposely keeps the cost of living high and the safety net low. It is hollow.
We spend most of our life at a place that doesn't care about us, nor the person next to us, so that we can pay for wars that really don't achieve anything other than ending more lives, and keep ignoring issues here at home.
Our way of living is both highly demanding and extremely redundant. Not just redundant but also morally neglectful.
And if anyone talks about it, the response is universal: "You can't expect to live for free. You're just complaining because you don't wanna work like the rest of us. You're entitled because you want this and that without putting in your fair share."
No. I'm not just saying "work sucks." I'm saying that I've seen the way our lifestyle shoves someone else underwater to keep our own head up.
I've also heard of the way things CAN be where life is more relaxed and people are less mechanical in nature. Not perfect nor effortless by any means, but certainly less suffocating and less outwardly harmful.
Even if you, reader, disagree with everything I've said here, I can say undeniably that I just don't feel like I belong here. Maybe "here" is the country and culture where I live, or maybe it's the whole world. I hope it's the former because then at least there is an escape — even if it's far away.
But I just don't know. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so disillusioned and hopeless.
But I've gone through a major shift in the past two years.
We contribute only to a false economy full of unsustainable systems that create negative externalities, for a God who probably doesn't exist, in a country whose government purposely keeps the cost of living high and the safety net low. It is hollow.
We spend most of our life at a place that doesn't care about us, nor the person next to us, so that we can pay for wars that really don't achieve anything other than ending more lives, and keep ignoring issues here at home.
Our way of living is both highly demanding and extremely redundant. Not just redundant but also morally neglectful.
And if anyone talks about it, the response is universal: "You can't expect to live for free. You're just complaining because you don't wanna work like the rest of us. You're entitled because you want this and that without putting in your fair share."
No. I'm not just saying "work sucks." I'm saying that I've seen the way our lifestyle shoves someone else underwater to keep our own head up.
I've also heard of the way things CAN be where life is more relaxed and people are less mechanical in nature. Not perfect nor effortless by any means, but certainly less suffocating and less outwardly harmful.
Even if you, reader, disagree with everything I've said here, I can say undeniably that I just don't feel like I belong here. Maybe "here" is the country and culture where I live, or maybe it's the whole world. I hope it's the former because then at least there is an escape — even if it's far away.
But I just don't know. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so disillusioned and hopeless.
