This is what I used to feel when imagining dating in mid 2023 to early 2024. Do you feel it was valid of me?
So yeah in mid 2023 to early 2024 I was in my 1st year of MBA and when it came to dating, I used to often imagine long term about Indian context. Like it's conservative in many parts of India when it comes to dating. I do live in Bangalore in India which is a major tier 1 city in India known for its IT but often people from tier 2 and tier 3 cities also come to Bangalore for their MBA or work so yeah it makes me wonder about long term how it will be. Like in my class there were this guy named Rohit and girl named Riya. So in many parts of India, arranged marriages still happen so this is what I was thinking about them. So yeah mostly Riya and Rohit were dating. Riya was 22 and Rohit was 24(now they are 24-25 and 27). But yeah I used to not just think that "Yeah they are dating. Good for them". I used to wonder what will happen during their time for marriage. Riya shared to class that she is from a big joint family in UP State of Northern India whereas Rohit is from Jharkhand state of India. It sounds scary to me because if she is from a joint family, I can't imagine how conservative her parents might be especially in UP and idk whether they will want their daughter to marry Rohit who is from a different state. So yeah I was already thinking "Now in their early to mid 20s they are enjoying but Rohit will have to fight for her to her family during marriage time".
Similar thing I also used to feel about Anshika who was my crush in my MBA campus. I used to feel butterflies about her at 22 but also feel like she is from Lucknow which is also in UP state whereas I am from West Bengal so different state so already also thinking about future even though I was shy to initiate with her. She was confident and would initiate and even called me cute but her UP background made me nervous too about whether she has protective brother or parents. Same thing while messaging some woman from my campus with last name(or surname) Yadav while messaging which means she is either from UP too or Bihar state. Bihar is the most rural state of India and even though UP has several cities, many parts of the state are rural or semi-rural and the cities (except maybe Noida) are typically smaller than tier 1 cities like Bangalore or Mumbai. Yeah that Yadav surname woman had a boyfriend who is Rajasthani and I was like woah he is brave but in future he might have to face her family too. I used to often feel that's why maybe going for foreign women is better because at least I wouldn't have to face her protective or conservative parents or brother. I am 25 now and the feelings and thoughts have gone but even with new confidence this worry still lingers as the older generation(40s+) in India can still be conservative. But yeah I often thank God that I live in Bangalore which is more liberal and progressive and importantly cosmopolitan and I can more freely talk to women without people not caring. I can't even imagine how terrible living in a joint family would have been for me.
Similar thing I also used to feel about Anshika who was my crush in my MBA campus. I used to feel butterflies about her at 22 but also feel like she is from Lucknow which is also in UP state whereas I am from West Bengal so different state so already also thinking about future even though I was shy to initiate with her. She was confident and would initiate and even called me cute but her UP background made me nervous too about whether she has protective brother or parents. Same thing while messaging some woman from my campus with last name(or surname) Yadav while messaging which means she is either from UP too or Bihar state. Bihar is the most rural state of India and even though UP has several cities, many parts of the state are rural or semi-rural and the cities (except maybe Noida) are typically smaller than tier 1 cities like Bangalore or Mumbai. Yeah that Yadav surname woman had a boyfriend who is Rajasthani and I was like woah he is brave but in future he might have to face her family too. I used to often feel that's why maybe going for foreign women is better because at least I wouldn't have to face her protective or conservative parents or brother. I am 25 now and the feelings and thoughts have gone but even with new confidence this worry still lingers as the older generation(40s+) in India can still be conservative. But yeah I often thank God that I live in Bangalore which is more liberal and progressive and importantly cosmopolitan and I can more freely talk to women without people not caring. I can't even imagine how terrible living in a joint family would have been for me.
22-25, M
