I went out with a guy you guys...! Can you believe that?
I mean, it was absolutely spontaneous. We crossed paths outside of a restaurant and there was a confusion there with the waitress and he said "I see you are suffering too" and I replied "No, I am actually good, I am not suffering", then I went in and he sat at a nearby table, each had our food and on his way out, came by me, we exchanged a few words and asked my number.
Soon after he messages me suggesting that I join him at a cafe nearby, saying though he'll be working on his computer.
I went in the bathroom of the restaurant I was and checking how I was feeling. I have actually haven't interacted with a masculine energy for a while, I thought. Most of the Balinese people I interact with, are very feminine in their energy - that is something very interesting, now that I am actually thinking of it. Or perhaps they are like that with tourists and foreigners and they keep their other appearances for their homes.
Long story short, I found myself feeling fear of the masculine energy there in the bathroom. Then I thought, okay, let's go to explore that. I am very clear by now of how I am not giving myself anymore, and that is making everything more calm for me. But the guy was intensely in his masculine energy, coming from Azerbaijan. But he was also playing silly, and so that was making it easier for me to digest. I mean to digest his energy around me.
It was actually very easy to connect with, but I partially attribute this to me, nowadays.
I felt good but also too intense for me.
I could enjoy myself, but there was this intensity. He drove me home and was sweet and a little nervous I would say.
He had this flirtatious attitude, but that didn't make me feel uncomfortable, as I enjoyed it but without feeling obliged to reciprocate.
He was overall very respectful, sweet and kind, and also nervous, all over the place.
Not very compatible with me and the work I am doing with myself for years now, of prioritizing my well being, of trying to remain calm, of breathing fully. I was feeling more like I was there helping him to calm down. But I did enjoy the attention and the time, different than with all the fairies - the women in the retreat..:)
I had a good time, interesting exchange and felt good and safe, that is what matters. Wow have I grown huh..
Soon after he messages me suggesting that I join him at a cafe nearby, saying though he'll be working on his computer.
I went in the bathroom of the restaurant I was and checking how I was feeling. I have actually haven't interacted with a masculine energy for a while, I thought. Most of the Balinese people I interact with, are very feminine in their energy - that is something very interesting, now that I am actually thinking of it. Or perhaps they are like that with tourists and foreigners and they keep their other appearances for their homes.
Long story short, I found myself feeling fear of the masculine energy there in the bathroom. Then I thought, okay, let's go to explore that. I am very clear by now of how I am not giving myself anymore, and that is making everything more calm for me. But the guy was intensely in his masculine energy, coming from Azerbaijan. But he was also playing silly, and so that was making it easier for me to digest. I mean to digest his energy around me.
It was actually very easy to connect with, but I partially attribute this to me, nowadays.
I felt good but also too intense for me.
I could enjoy myself, but there was this intensity. He drove me home and was sweet and a little nervous I would say.
He had this flirtatious attitude, but that didn't make me feel uncomfortable, as I enjoyed it but without feeling obliged to reciprocate.
He was overall very respectful, sweet and kind, and also nervous, all over the place.
Not very compatible with me and the work I am doing with myself for years now, of prioritizing my well being, of trying to remain calm, of breathing fully. I was feeling more like I was there helping him to calm down. But I did enjoy the attention and the time, different than with all the fairies - the women in the retreat..:)
I had a good time, interesting exchange and felt good and safe, that is what matters. Wow have I grown huh..
