I'm at a child's first birthday party.

I truly don't know how to relax. Being with family should be nice, and seeing the baby eat her first birthday cake is cute, but my mind just constantly gets stuck on tragic and intrusive thoughts.

I don't know if they're "intrusive thoughts" in the medical sense, it doesn't really matter because I know that they are certainly constant, distressing and not socially acceptable nor appropriate for the situation.

I want a new brain.