How come the men even the South Indian ones who had a more gender segregated upbringing still can talk to more women now naturally than me?
So yeah it's true that still in many parts of India, there is still gender segregation in school days especially. I am mostly talking about South India because I live in the city Bangalore which is in Southern part of India even though I was born in Siliguri in West Bengal in Eastern part of India. But many online or in general says that in many parts of South India especially Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh, it's more traditional and conservative and plenty of guys from that region end up in gender segregated schools and all so plenty end up growing up awkward with women whereas the South Indians in urban cities like Bangalore might have it better as it's less conservative in urban areas.
But despite the gender segregation, I do see plenty of South Indian men still talking to women in college or MBA or workplaces because they have the structured settings whereas I am freshly done with MBA and job searching so relying more on Cold approaching and Instagram dms. I am Bengali and majority of Bengalis grow up with better male-female interactions and even dating compared to the average South Indians outside of tier 1 cities. I was shy not because of conservative upbringing but because of bullying in school which led to lower self esteem but I overcame it at 23 and now as a 25 year old male, I am fully confident. Still I see some plenty of South Indian men hanging out in mixed gender groups and some couples too but that's probably because they have the structured setting like college or workplace and not just raw confidence.
Remove the structure and many men won't be confident enough to cold approach women including foreign women whereas I can approach and talk to both Indian and foreign expat women in Church Street, Lavelle Road, UB City etc. If I was in a structured setting, I would socialize well. In MBA too in 1st year I was a bit shy but in 2nd year after I overcome my shyness, I was definitely talking to women more than many of my South Indian male MBA peers and my competition was mostly Bengali and especially North Indian male peers. Same in the edtech internship too whereas I was definitely socializing with women more than the men from engineering and South Indian backgrounds but the MBA North and East Indian male peers felt more like competition. There was this guy Bala who is Tamil too from Coimbatore and did MBA too but was in the internship in Bangalore and he himself said me he has allergy to girls and even switched seats when he sat between 2 women in the office. Even now we chat on Instagram and he replies "Enjoy bro" with laughing emojis whenever I share about my socializing. So yeah structure is the reason probably why even men who had a conservative or gender segregated upbringing still have female interactions in office or college and arranged marriage means even the awkward South Indian men who grew up without female interactions still ends up being paired up by like 28-33.
But despite the gender segregation, I do see plenty of South Indian men still talking to women in college or MBA or workplaces because they have the structured settings whereas I am freshly done with MBA and job searching so relying more on Cold approaching and Instagram dms. I am Bengali and majority of Bengalis grow up with better male-female interactions and even dating compared to the average South Indians outside of tier 1 cities. I was shy not because of conservative upbringing but because of bullying in school which led to lower self esteem but I overcame it at 23 and now as a 25 year old male, I am fully confident. Still I see some plenty of South Indian men hanging out in mixed gender groups and some couples too but that's probably because they have the structured setting like college or workplace and not just raw confidence.
Remove the structure and many men won't be confident enough to cold approach women including foreign women whereas I can approach and talk to both Indian and foreign expat women in Church Street, Lavelle Road, UB City etc. If I was in a structured setting, I would socialize well. In MBA too in 1st year I was a bit shy but in 2nd year after I overcome my shyness, I was definitely talking to women more than many of my South Indian male MBA peers and my competition was mostly Bengali and especially North Indian male peers. Same in the edtech internship too whereas I was definitely socializing with women more than the men from engineering and South Indian backgrounds but the MBA North and East Indian male peers felt more like competition. There was this guy Bala who is Tamil too from Coimbatore and did MBA too but was in the internship in Bangalore and he himself said me he has allergy to girls and even switched seats when he sat between 2 women in the office. Even now we chat on Instagram and he replies "Enjoy bro" with laughing emojis whenever I share about my socializing. So yeah structure is the reason probably why even men who had a conservative or gender segregated upbringing still have female interactions in office or college and arranged marriage means even the awkward South Indian men who grew up without female interactions still ends up being paired up by like 28-33.
22-25, M
