I've stopped chasing joy.

I used to see myself as an isolated individual and happiness or the lack thereof was something to achieve. If I wasn't happy, then that was something that needed to be cured.

Over the past couple years, that's changed. I see myself as more connected to this world, with happiness being something that is largely absent. Because this world is awful.

I've stopped expecting to feel any different.

I'm not sure if this is good or bad. It could be both, in different ways.