Ever Outgrown a Version of Yourself?

Have you ever looked back at who you were 5 or 10 years ago and thought, “Wow… I don’t even recognize that person anymore.”

Lately I’ve been reflecting on the different versions of myself I’ve lived through — the ambitious one chasing titles, the people-pleaser trying to keep everyone happy, the silent observer who avoided conflict, and the fighter who learned to speak up.

Growth is strange. It doesn’t always feel like progress when you’re in it. Sometimes it feels like loss. You lose comfort. You lose certain relationships. You lose the illusion of who you thought you’d be. But in exchange, you gain clarity.

I’ve learned that evolving isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming honest — honest about what you want, what you tolerate, and what you absolutely won’t accept anymore.

Some people from your past only fit the old version of you. And that’s okay. Not everyone is meant to walk with you into your next chapter.

So I’m curious…

Have you ever had to let go of a former version of yourself?
What changed you the most — success, failure, heartbreak, responsibility?

Let’s talk about growth — the messy, uncomfortable, real kind.

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ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

I have outgrown myself several times. On the verge of doing it again too. Doesn't scare me. The way my life has been, growth was needed to survive so I simply do what I have to do and let the rest go.

Abovelimit · 51-55, M

@ScreamingFox “Growth was needed to survive” — that line says a lot without saying everything. Some people grow because it’s trendy. Others grow because life demanded it. The second kind of growth creates depth.

I admire that you “do what you have to do and let the rest go.” That’s strength. That’s wisdom. That’s someone who understands control versus surrender.

Now I’m curious — when you feel yourself outgrowing a version of you, what’s usually the first sign?

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@Abovelimit I know it's time when I feel dishonest and uncomfortable. It's a very slow process sometimes and I try to be patient with my doubts so that when I do make changes it's secure. But I know I need the growth when I feel untrue to myself. I feel like I'm manipulating too much to maintain a hidden version of myself. It all feels terribly wrong and I'm constantly frustrated.

Control and surrender is the balancing act. What can I do/action + what just needs to fall away/surrender, if that's what you meant.

From there I make my moves. I let it hurt. Make a few mistakes. It's all learning. All progress.

Abovelimit · 51-55, M

@ScreamingFox There’s something deeply honest about that.

When you start feeling “untrue” to yourself… that’s not weakness. That’s alignment trying to correct itself. Most people silence that feeling. You listen to it.

The fact that you’d rather let it hurt than live in something that feels dishonest? That’s integrity.

Control what you can. Surrender what you can’t. And trust that discomfort is often the doorway, not the warning sign.

You don’t grow recklessly — you grow consciously.

That’s rare.