I think my issue with boundaries is the misuse I have experienced.

My family put boundaries against me when I showed up for them. Because they don't want to deal with anything. No matter how awful, they didn't want tears or truth, they wanted to hide and pretend everything was fine. In doing so, worse things happened. Children were molested, people were killed, abused and abandoned. Because they didn't want to get involved or be inconvenienced. They liked their secrets to remain hidden, no matter how much they festered.

I can't fathom it. I can't fathom running from the truth if it means helping and supporting each other. Because people do deserve it.

I understand there are healthy boundaries. I see people exercise them and talk about them on here. I don't disagree.

I guess I just got the door slammed in my face over and over when I'm genuinely trying to be a human and help others.

And to hear, that is their right, sickens me. Because that allowed very bad things to happen. And when I needed them so badly to care and be there, they put up a wall. When I lost my mom and my inheritance to her husband who had a new woman living in my mom's house before she died, they didn't even offer a hug. They ditched me.

And when I ditched them back they made me the villain.

My experience with boundaries has taught me, nobody loves or wants me and people are so easy to push away because they don't love or want you. It doesn't matter if I am right, all that matters is I respect others inability to deal with it.

I don't understand how to respect or have healthy boundaries because all I know is, nobody cares about right or wrong or what is true or necessary, just that they are safe from facing it. I can't imagine treating people who need help that way. And if that makes me weak, then I'm just wrong and will remain wrong.

I have learned my caring heart is only a curse among humanity.