It's amazing who disappears when you're going through something.

I try to be stable and be there for others because I care so much. But one misstep or I get a little off balance and so often people scatter.

As boring and used to it as I should be, it's still always sad who pushes you away once you aren't giving.

A lot of people have come and gone from my life because I wasn't what they needed me to be. Not for lack of trying or caring, I just don't have an easy go. I don't have help or much time to myself. I have chronic pain and I use all my energy to be a good mom. And for that I'm reminded I'm not enough for people.

Too bad it can't be, hey I see how hard you're trying and I respect that, I'm around but no sweat if you can't make it. Or the unthinkable, can I come over and play games with you guys? Can I be part of your world and help? Never that.

I don't think I've ever gotten actually upset with someone because they couldn't be the person I wanted them to be.

The only place I can be understood, usually, is here, and definitely not in my real life.

Most people keep their distance from me, others try to drain. And I'm trying to balance at all times. It just doesn't work.