I saw that man I've fallen for once again very briefly today

It feels scary and that it's fading. I haven't felt like that for a long time and it's scary, this distance, change, me moving away, him moving away.

I walked through the table I was seated the first time I've met him. From the very first moment we had this thing and we shared light and hope and laughs. It's not been in my head, it's been real.
He's told me how he finds me overwhelmingly positive. He said I'm too high and he has to constantly be very grounded when he meets me and he doesn't like that. He said I'm changing my words depending on what another person says and he doesn't like that. He's said he doesn't want it so many times and why do I still insist?
I want to tell him that I want to try, because I never made that clear with my itinerary and buying a ticket to Greece.
But I cannot say anything because I'm afraid he'll reject me even more and I feel silly, like I don't understand.