I wish I lived in a normal household. Sometimes, I just want to off myself from this world, then there would be no guilt to carry, no toxicity surrounding me, only silence and peace.
I can't imagine what you're going through. But when I've been through some bad episodes in my life, mostly health related, I tried to stay optimistic. Someone out there has it worse than me but they're not giving up I said to myself. Hopefully everything gets better in your situation.
I don't know what's causing your unhappiness but I hope somehow someway you'll find a reason to smile. Please know there are a lot of people who want you to stay alive.