I've spent my whole life putting everyone else's needs and wants before my own and now I am paying the consequences for that...

I know that I need to take ownership of this because I am the one who has taught the people in my life that it's okay to do this. I am the one that needs to change and I am the one who needs to put myself first. I am really struggling with this, I feel immense guilt for even considering doing this. I know that isn't right. I am a nurturer by nature, I was the first born and I literally raised my sister even though I was only 3 1/2 years older than her due to having a severe alcoholic father and mother that was a ward of the state in her childhood who never dealt with her trauma and was unable to be a mother to us. I started a very young age taking care of everyone else, including my parents. I carried this on to my adult life. I have given all I had to everyone else and left myself with nothing. I am facing a situation now where I am facing the very real possibility of financial ruin and homelessness if I stay in this situation I am in because of the actions of my partner or inactions. I am working full time, I am taking care of the house myself, doing all the cooking, taking care of all the bills and trying to keep my head above water mentally and physically. We have had several fights over this, I have told him how I feel he doesn't care. Even though I know logically that this isn't right I still feel like an asshole for considering putting myself first. My needs and wants are not being met and if I felt like he was at least trying maybe this would be a different story but I don't think he gives a fuck about what I need or want right now and he blames me for things that aren't mine to own and takes no ownership. It's so hard when you are wired to put everyone else first and to have to go against your nature. I know this is something I need to fix within myself because I am the only one who can. No one is going to take care of me, I need to step up for myself.