My son deserves better than me.

There's a reason I have no friends, no family and nobody is interested.

I am garbage.

I'm not being cruel to myself. I deserve pain for the pain I've caused.

I have to face it so I figure out how to fix it.

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DragonFruit · 70-79, M

Your son is lucky to have a Mom like you who truly cares about him.
Nobody has ever raised a child perfectly, but the child knows when their parent loves them and does the best they can.
Your son knows this, and deep down you know it as well. Just keep doing the best you can for him. Nobody's perfect, but you're doing a lot better than some parents...you know it, he knows it and we know it.