Damn even in a bar I got interruped by the staffs while initiating conversation with a woman. Is it only an India thing?

I always heard people saying bars are acceptable places to meet women. So today afternoon i went to this bar/brewery named The Biere Club near UB City mall of our city Bangalore in India where expats hangout too. So saw this cute East Asian woman sitting solo so I approached her for a conversation and I barely started talking and these 2 male staffs who are basically middled aged South Indian men interruped asking me what do you want and I said them i was just socializing with her and then they said me okay just go sit there as that table is empty. They didnt even let me talk to her at all. I am 24 and a Bengali guy just trying to socialize but got stopped.

Even in UB City mall too, some middle aged man who is a floor supervisor of the mall suddenly moral policed me one day after seeing me talking to multiple women both Indian and foreign even though the women were comfortable. He just asked me why was I trying to talk to customers and I said I was just socializing normally and he said these aren't allowed here and do it elsewhere. Idk why some third person moral polices in India because these women were clearly adults(20+). The Japanese woman was literally drinking alcohol so she was 100% 21+ so she can make her decision whether to engage in the convo or not but still the staffs came in even though everything was fine.

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Nightwings · 31-35, F

It is normal many places in the world, if the woman you approach is not interested. You never mentioned if she was happy to talk with you? Another thing is that she was alone, and it's usually uncomfortable of a guy approaches you when you're alone. If she allowed the men to interrupt you, then she didn't want to talk with you. If she did, she would have told them it's ok.

In the second example I find it strange because the women were around your age and 21+ and wanted to talk with you. Idk why he would interrupt you, unless you misread the situation and they were actually uncomfortable. If they wanted to talk with you, why didn't they tell the man to let you talk with them?

Heroisthebest24 · 22-25, M

@Nightwings Idk they(the women) were fine with small talk. And he interrupted without any provocation. Idk whether you know India but some people actually moral police here even if the woman is fine with talking because India in general is more conservative when it comes male-female interactions. Even though I live in a more cosmopolitan and big city like Bangalore, some people are still conservative especially from the older generation. Both the times they were middle aged South Indian men who are staffs or supervisors interrupting me as they probably had a conservative upbringing. Its not very normal for guys to approach women for socializing in India and most stick with their circle or group and most bars here are like friends hanging out or dates. Today in the bar too, the woman was fine and didn't say she isn't interested but that staff suddenly interrupted probably thinking I am trying to hit on her.

Nightwings · 31-35, F

@Heroisthebest24 I am not from India, and have not been there, though I would love to visit one day. I believe you, I was just wondering why the women wouldn't tell the men that they would like to talk to you, but I guess they have their reasons? In my home country Denmark, it's not socially acceptable to approach women who sit alone either, most of the time, but it's rare that someone will interrupt unless the woman is clearly uncomfortable. Denmark is very liberal, but with some conservative elements too. Have you considered joining a sport or class (like art or reading group), to socialize with people outside of your friend group?

Heroisthebest24 · 22-25, M

@Nightwings In India, women are guarded as many men usually approach them for transactional reason like asking money for donations or just act full creepy saying vulgar things or still being persistent even after she says no so even decent men get lumped into them. The women don't say the men that they want to talk to me because I am still a stranger and unfortunately some toxic males tend to call such women as characterless or judge her too for freely talking to a man she doesn't know so yeah women too get judged. The woman I approached in the bar is an East Asian tho probably a Japanese or Korean and they are reserved and shy and risk averse so probably thats why she was quiet when the staffs intervened.

Also I am basically freshly done with my MBA degree with only official graduation pending and basically searching for a job so still living in home with parents so I have limited freedom for joining classes or groups. After getting a job I will be more independent but now its hard. I am unable to meet women in a classroom or office setting so I am just relying on messaging women from my University on Instagram where they often ghost or approaching strangers in a coffee shop or bar. I don't have a big friends circle either as I was bullied in high school and was isolated for years due to trust issues near boys and extreme shyness with girls. I only got confident last year at 23 after entering my 2nd year of MBA so yeah socializing with women is a new thing to me. I missed out on female interactions as a teen and doing it now at 24 with adult women in their 20s and 30s.

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