Things I think about, when drinking.
I was sitting here drinking Bud Light, because, you know, screw Kid Rock, flipping thru the channels when I came across a steamy love scene. The guy was dark and like he had just finished working out, all pumped up. And she was the hot chick of the movie. You could tell.
In the scene, the dude has her pinned against a wall in a room that, judging by how much they are sweating, is probably a sauna of some sort. Also breathing super hard that made me wonder...Are they ok?? In any case
For a minute there I was a bit intrigued about where the plot was going. I mean. It could have gone anywhere at that point. So it basically had me at the edge of my seat. Unfortunately they, the couple, as expected, ended up, or down I should say, in bed.
And boy was she ready!
. All she needed was a pair of those weird flashlights airplane guides use to direct airplanes? both pointing at her nether regions. "Right there big boy".. "Riiight theeerree"..
Nothing was happening plotwise tho. It was becoming boring by now. . But then Ricardo, let's call him Ricardo suddenly gets up and leaves. I'm thinking he must have gone to the kitchen or to the store, because he comes back with strawberries, whipped cream and ice.
So he goes...eh??..and she says... Whaaat???...
And he goes... I'm about to tell you what time it is .
And she says .. it's 345....
And he says .. No I'm about to tell you what time it really is..
And she says , oh ok, I thought it was 345 but I will stand corrected if I must.
At least that's how I remember it.
Then he smears some of the whipped cream on her and starts to dip the strawberries in it and eating them. Oh and having her eat some too, but in slow motion
For context, I was a quality supervisor for a major produce distributor and I tell you what. Strawberries go bad fast. And get moldy even faster. You'd be surprised at the stuff you buy in the brink of going bad.
Anyway. By now I'm thinking, dude you're probably rubbing mold all over her then eating it.
Then he starts to run the ice cubes on her, and you can imagine how the whole thing went. With the ice rubbing everywhere thing.
I thought the ice was probably a good idea tho. since it was so hot in there. Maybe Ricardo brought it cause it was hot but then he was like.. Ok no problema!
Anyway. I thought . Who does this??? Go thru all that. What is the purpose? To show that I can afford healthy eating ?
If I was a woman and a guy came at me with this jazz I'd be like, dude you shouldn't be wasting food. Also now I'm all sticky.
Has anyone here done this on a date??
Do you know how expensive fucking strawberries are? If I was silly enough to do something like that, it would probably be lettuce and soy sauce
So no. I'm my experience it would be more like grunting, awkward eye contact, the occasional eewww not on the hair! And pancakes if you do well.
And she'd probably ask if I still have any of those strawberries left
Right?
TL:DR
Things I think about when I'm drinking Bud Light.
Sex scenes in movies are retarded
In the scene, the dude has her pinned against a wall in a room that, judging by how much they are sweating, is probably a sauna of some sort. Also breathing super hard that made me wonder...Are they ok?? In any case
For a minute there I was a bit intrigued about where the plot was going. I mean. It could have gone anywhere at that point. So it basically had me at the edge of my seat. Unfortunately they, the couple, as expected, ended up, or down I should say, in bed.
And boy was she ready!
. All she needed was a pair of those weird flashlights airplane guides use to direct airplanes? both pointing at her nether regions. "Right there big boy".. "Riiight theeerree"..
Nothing was happening plotwise tho. It was becoming boring by now. . But then Ricardo, let's call him Ricardo suddenly gets up and leaves. I'm thinking he must have gone to the kitchen or to the store, because he comes back with strawberries, whipped cream and ice.
So he goes...eh??..and she says... Whaaat???...
And he goes... I'm about to tell you what time it is .
And she says .. it's 345....
And he says .. No I'm about to tell you what time it really is..
And she says , oh ok, I thought it was 345 but I will stand corrected if I must.
At least that's how I remember it.
Then he smears some of the whipped cream on her and starts to dip the strawberries in it and eating them. Oh and having her eat some too, but in slow motion
For context, I was a quality supervisor for a major produce distributor and I tell you what. Strawberries go bad fast. And get moldy even faster. You'd be surprised at the stuff you buy in the brink of going bad.
Anyway. By now I'm thinking, dude you're probably rubbing mold all over her then eating it.
Then he starts to run the ice cubes on her, and you can imagine how the whole thing went. With the ice rubbing everywhere thing.
I thought the ice was probably a good idea tho. since it was so hot in there. Maybe Ricardo brought it cause it was hot but then he was like.. Ok no problema!
Anyway. I thought . Who does this??? Go thru all that. What is the purpose? To show that I can afford healthy eating ?
If I was a woman and a guy came at me with this jazz I'd be like, dude you shouldn't be wasting food. Also now I'm all sticky.
Has anyone here done this on a date??
Do you know how expensive fucking strawberries are? If I was silly enough to do something like that, it would probably be lettuce and soy sauce
So no. I'm my experience it would be more like grunting, awkward eye contact, the occasional eewww not on the hair! And pancakes if you do well.
And she'd probably ask if I still have any of those strawberries left
Right?
TL:DR
Things I think about when I'm drinking Bud Light.
Sex scenes in movies are retarded
51-55, M
