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Sitting in the parking lot at work, 545am, crying, knowing my boss will be late even though they asked me to come in early...

I don't know why I'm this person. Trying to do the right thing, knowing it won't do me any good, it'll just make me unhealthy and unhappy.

I'm addicted to this hope that someone will see me putting my best out there and appreciate it. But they don't.

I hate my life. Not because it's bad, not because I don't like myself, because I don't have the option to enjoy it anymore. Because nobody really cares about anything but themselves.

And here's my pathetic ass trying to earn and deserve things, when it's useless.
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I know how physically and emotionally exhausting this can be , going above and beyond, receiving no recognition. Looking back , I wish I put more boundaries for myself in place and was more firm about them when I did try to implement them , especially in settings where I didn't see long term progression~transitionary jobs. Reserve your energy , physical and emotional , for what truly matters , as much as you can. I understand how in many cases of employment we do things not within our role, or pay grade ,simply because we want to continue having a roof over our head and a bed to sleep in . In these cases, there's helpful online advise from career advisors/HR personal, on how to say no and navigate setting your own boundaries, without risking losing your position. These have helped me a lot ,so they're worth checking out. I wish you all the best luck, know you are not alone , try to take it easy when you get home, and do something nice for yourself. When you are recharged you can plan on how to execute those things, with a clear mind and a rested body. Lots of love towards you today 🫂