Becoming self aware
I gotta tell you becoming aware of your own bs, insecurities and lack of skill/knowledge is a real blow to the gut. Kind of makes one feel pathetic. Above all becoming aware of how stubborn I am and unable or unwilling to see it when its practically staring me in the face. Its humbling but also makes you self doubt even more. A double edged sword.
I don't know what my goal is or even my purpose but I hope to discover it soon as improve. I learned the other day I was practically starving myself. God only knows how long I've been doing this. Maybe thats why I've felt less than a shadow of myself for so long.
32 years old and I'm discovering so much of what should be obvious. I really am a dimwit. But also learning how to forgive myself and not be so self judging, God thats like trying to teach a fish to fly.
Also learned that perhaps why or atleast its a variable in the equation of why I can never seem to be where i want in life. I dont take risks, like ever. Im so analytical and cautious it prevents me from doing something worthwhile. Well I'm going to start with something big. Im moving to Texas for a potential new life in the near future.
Been stuck in the same tiny town most of my life. Now if i can only find a damn working vehicle. I dont feel much better and this journey is creating more questions than answers but at this point what other choice do I have? Cant very well lay down my arms and give up the fight can I? Ive always taken the easy route.
I hope the rest of you are figuring it out too. I'm sure many of you are much further along than I am. Some of you probably stuck in a rut somewhere too. Im slowly becoming less judgemental and harsh as well. I can't understand myself and why I do what I do so how can I possibly understand you people?
I don't know what my goal is or even my purpose but I hope to discover it soon as improve. I learned the other day I was practically starving myself. God only knows how long I've been doing this. Maybe thats why I've felt less than a shadow of myself for so long.
32 years old and I'm discovering so much of what should be obvious. I really am a dimwit. But also learning how to forgive myself and not be so self judging, God thats like trying to teach a fish to fly.
Also learned that perhaps why or atleast its a variable in the equation of why I can never seem to be where i want in life. I dont take risks, like ever. Im so analytical and cautious it prevents me from doing something worthwhile. Well I'm going to start with something big. Im moving to Texas for a potential new life in the near future.
Been stuck in the same tiny town most of my life. Now if i can only find a damn working vehicle. I dont feel much better and this journey is creating more questions than answers but at this point what other choice do I have? Cant very well lay down my arms and give up the fight can I? Ive always taken the easy route.
I hope the rest of you are figuring it out too. I'm sure many of you are much further along than I am. Some of you probably stuck in a rut somewhere too. Im slowly becoming less judgemental and harsh as well. I can't understand myself and why I do what I do so how can I possibly understand you people?
31-35, M
