Doing the right thing sucks in the moment but it feels great long-term.

Yesterday my crush and I finally had an open and honest conversation about our feelings for each other. As I suspected the feelings both emotional and sexual are reciprocated. He said that ultimately he loves his fiance despite the problems and wants to make things work with her for the sake of his son. I respect that very much. We established that both of us are not cheaters so there will never be anything between us other than friendship. We kept talking but there was still an undercurrent of flirting. He then said something sexual and I didn't entertain it or laugh if off,I merely told him to cut it out and behave. After some thought I realized that while I am able to respect the boundaries we agreed upon he isn't. We can't be friends if we don't mutually uphold the boundaries we have set. Boundaries to keep us accountable. I decided that the best thing to do,an act of true friendship, was to send him a goodbye text,block his number and move on. Remove myself as a source of temptation. He made his choice and I made mine. I will never ever cheat or be used to cheat with. As I said in my text the probability of anything immoral happening drops to 0 when I end our friendship. Friends come and go but family is what matters most so the best thing to do to support my friend is to remove myself as a source of temptation. My favorite line in my text was "There is no greater boundary than separation." That was a bar😂. My parents raised me to treat others as I want to be treated, I was cheated on and I don't want to be the reason someone feels that same pain. That would make me just like my ex,I would rather eat my own shit! I refuse to degrade my morals like that.

Also I kept thinking about the episode of The Golden Girls where Dorothy sleeps with a married man and hates herself for doing it. She couldn't even sleep. I don't want that level of psychological distress.

I am sad I lost someone who means so much to me but I am happy I didn't lose myself. 😊