Trying something new
Being a good, genuine, patient, genuine, and understand human being is hard, holy crap. 3 years ago I decided I had enough with depression and anxiety and this, for lack of a better definition, existential crisis. I told myself I am going to fix this, I don't know how but I'm going to figure it out. Slowly but surely I am working it out. Its been difficult to say the least. Its taken a lot of introspection but also listening to what other people have to say. Not only commentary directed at me but commentary directed at all manner of topics. People speaking about their own experiences and observing the interactions between 2 or more people.
Human and social interaction has never been my strong suit. In fact you could say I loathe it with a fiery passion, because people frustrate me (consequences of working in retail for many years), in a general sense that is. But I recognize that its necessary, for better or worse. Adversity is not something one should shy away from.
I am slowly coming to terms with own limitations and faults and doing what I can to correct them. Sometimes that requires an outsiders observation and commentary, even if it stings a bit, even if it shatters my pride from time to time. Sometimes you need the affirmations of someone in your own circle especially if you're struggling with confidence. And learning to be patient with the radical extremists or the ignorant especially with opposing opinions is unbelievably difficult. My first instinct is to throw a metaphorical punch to their jaw. But you can't do that, not if you want to learn, not if you want to have civil discussion. So I'm learning to control my impulses. And believe me, I know for a fact I am ignorant about many things. Its no longer a battle of whos right and whos wrong. Its a journey to discovering truth. As Socrates would say "I know that I know nothing." That's an unbelievably powerful and yet humble statement. Humility is unbelievably difficult to attain. I'm not even sure there's such thing as true humility but its an admirable trait regardless.
So yeah, humility, patience, understanding, civility, etc. I'm practicing all of those. Not just with others but myself as well. Forgiveness to myself, valuing myself. So I've been listening to podcasts, debates, lectures, and all manner of discussions. Most of them pertaining to the nature of existence and meaning, the existence and belief in God or some other supernatural entity, mens health, etc. I'm thinking about joining a new discussion group, similar to this except its a paid subscription so I haven't decided yet whether its worth it or not. I figured I might start here. I've been out of the loop for so long that long winded discussions give me a headache. And what I mean by the loop is not only having long discussions but the thinking aspect of it as well. Thinking as logically and analytically as possible. Putting my feet in someones else's shoes, seeing it from their perspective. And then last but not least being patient with another human being. Because I would ask the same of them towards me.
I don't know what will come of this. I don't know whether this will solve problems or create them. I don't know whether I'll learn anything or broaden my horizons and way of thinking. And I don't know if I will be able to practice good ethics in these discussions, but I will try.
Human and social interaction has never been my strong suit. In fact you could say I loathe it with a fiery passion, because people frustrate me (consequences of working in retail for many years), in a general sense that is. But I recognize that its necessary, for better or worse. Adversity is not something one should shy away from.
I am slowly coming to terms with own limitations and faults and doing what I can to correct them. Sometimes that requires an outsiders observation and commentary, even if it stings a bit, even if it shatters my pride from time to time. Sometimes you need the affirmations of someone in your own circle especially if you're struggling with confidence. And learning to be patient with the radical extremists or the ignorant especially with opposing opinions is unbelievably difficult. My first instinct is to throw a metaphorical punch to their jaw. But you can't do that, not if you want to learn, not if you want to have civil discussion. So I'm learning to control my impulses. And believe me, I know for a fact I am ignorant about many things. Its no longer a battle of whos right and whos wrong. Its a journey to discovering truth. As Socrates would say "I know that I know nothing." That's an unbelievably powerful and yet humble statement. Humility is unbelievably difficult to attain. I'm not even sure there's such thing as true humility but its an admirable trait regardless.
So yeah, humility, patience, understanding, civility, etc. I'm practicing all of those. Not just with others but myself as well. Forgiveness to myself, valuing myself. So I've been listening to podcasts, debates, lectures, and all manner of discussions. Most of them pertaining to the nature of existence and meaning, the existence and belief in God or some other supernatural entity, mens health, etc. I'm thinking about joining a new discussion group, similar to this except its a paid subscription so I haven't decided yet whether its worth it or not. I figured I might start here. I've been out of the loop for so long that long winded discussions give me a headache. And what I mean by the loop is not only having long discussions but the thinking aspect of it as well. Thinking as logically and analytically as possible. Putting my feet in someones else's shoes, seeing it from their perspective. And then last but not least being patient with another human being. Because I would ask the same of them towards me.
I don't know what will come of this. I don't know whether this will solve problems or create them. I don't know whether I'll learn anything or broaden my horizons and way of thinking. And I don't know if I will be able to practice good ethics in these discussions, but I will try.
31-35, M
