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Kinda tired of being told how to deal with my pain. What I'm allowed to share, what to keep quiet, what to feel and not feel...

And mostly from people who don't understand what its like to of never felt safe or loved. It makes it harder to open up, it makes me feel guilty for wanting connection because I can't match others level of composure. I care more. I work harder. I empathize quietly because why would someone who has good people in their life want to deal with someone who isn't happy and giving 24/7. Yet no matter what I do, I find out eventually that I screwed up, and I don't even know what I did.

I won't quit trying, but it might break me one day and it'll never not hurt to be the one who couldn't get it right.

All attacks at my self worth will be deleted. I'm not explaining to people who don't even care about me what I've been through and how strong I am.
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SlaveEt · 36-40, F
I don't know you or your past but I wonder, have you utilized professional mental health services to try to help mitigate your situation? They may be able to help you better navigate social situations and provide you the tools needed to find those who better understand you. Making good and mutually healthy connections is a skill and takes work. Just something to consider🤷‍♀