That was a tough read, not because your weren’t articulate, but because I’ve been there. I’m not sure how old you are, but I’ve always tried to regroup and go one more round with life in the ring

I have a physically demanding job and the ever changing technology today, demands more of our minds. It’s worn on me. My body and mind are wartorn and I find myself not even attempting to engage others

I do the things I can with the people I can and the rest, I simply let go and remember when I still had my glory

My guess is, that time will come for you as well and you’ll have peace in acknowledging you live well and this more enlightened chapter has just as many benefits. Those benefits are just different than during your youth

Sorry to blab. I’m alone with my coffee

No, I don't believe your mind is deteriorating but naturally aging. We're roughly the same age I am slightly younger and experience many of the same things. I think youth is about exploration, absorbing as much knowledge as possible and planning your course through life whereas adulthood is far more about repetition, planning your financial future, finding pleasures in the time you are allotted to do so.

I think your question is a good one as it was one I once worried about but after much pondering, thought and reading about it concluded it is simply part of aging. A completely unrelated yet I feel accurate analogy would be when I was 16 I could run one mile in 5 minutes and 32 seconds. Today I'm doing good to hit 6 minutes and 20 seconds. This isn't because I have multiple sclerosis or a similarly debilitating type of disease but because I run less frequently, am older, heavier and my lungs have been taxed by breathing polluted air since I was 16 years old.

I don't think you have any reason to concern yourself about having early onset dementia. If it troubles you I would recommend you be tested for it to put your mind at ease. I think you're a kind, good hearted person who may be striving to be more than any individual can be.

Good luck & best wishes to you. 🙂

I think you`ve pretty much answered your own question with this. You`re going through a lot, you`ve been going through a lot for quite a while now. It must be like a whirlwind inside your mind. You need to take time for yourself at some point. Do I have answers for you, no and I wish I did and I`ll not sit here and say, oh I know what you`re going through, because I don`t. Only you know that. All I can do is send you healing thoughts. 🤗🥺

A lot of us go through something similar mid life. I remember I had a period where I felt like a ghost walking through my life, acknowledging the things that always made me happy but not really feeling them anymore.
It didn't last forever.
Combine what you're feeling with the chaos and instability of what's going on in the world around you and it's not surprising you're feeling like something is misfiring in your brain.

Get an mri. I experienced similar to what you describe. It took several years for a doctor to do their job get me an mri and it was a brain tumor the size of an ostrich egg. If wed caught it soon maybe id be less debilitated. Look out for yourself. No one else will.

Lady, you are going through, hell, youve gone through so much that the stress alone can wear you down. I know there's some days i don't remember things two minutes later.
You can get some tests/scans with your family history. 🖤

I really hope you’re not getting early on set dementia. You have been living in survival mode for many years, that will absolutely take it’s toll on your brain. Time for a whole new environment and way of life…Italy?

That's terrible. Life is so hard especially when you have no support and even worse when the people in your life are weighing you down. A person can only take so much.

This is a statement of strength and tells me how awesome you are. You deserve the best of things! I hope things pick up 🫂

Do get checked out, but also I find the world is trying to do too much, be too much. I'm Trying to shut things out, and seek simplicity. "No" is becoming my favourite word.

The last few years people have seemed to expect me to be less and less motivated to go out of my comfort zone. Even where I am now I'm the bottom of the seniority basically so what's within my comfort zone they won't let me do

I think I've read that there are cognitive tests to see if there is early onset dementia.

I won't try to diagnose you or speculate. But I will give you the space to feel these hard feelings, be messy, whatever you need, and love you through it. And also still promise you gay stuff 💜

I feel this . I hate this world too in many ways .
I send you empathy and light bc I can't do much else . 🤍

That's a lot to go through and deal with and not come out exhausted