Peace comes dropping slow

Went to help dad do some unpacking yesterday. We had taken all of his books out of the house when we weren’t sure if we’d get it fixed before worse happened, so there were boxes and boxes of them to be unpacked. My old room had become his library, and it is once again full of all those treasures. Pictures and all back on the walls. It was important to him that they go back the same way so it was lucky pictures had been taken. We didn’t end up needing them for insurance but they saved the day putting stuff back! He’s doing okay there in the house by himself now. He still finds himself jumping up at 4 o’clock to get her eyedrops or turning to look at her chair to check on her, but his cable has been hooked up now and his caption phone is on so he can make and receive calls, so it’s not just him and that loud empty silence of the first couple days which makes a huge difference. Someone had stolen his garbage can and that was replaced yesterday. He was as delighted as a kid on Christmas morning. lol He went to a casino after he squared up with the funeral home last week. She used to love to go to the casino because nobody paid attention to how much she shook or stumbled, and she had been able to do that right up to a few years ago. We’re all having an amazingly similar experience it seems - this bizarre sad wrongness about her being gone grappling with the understanding that, for her, the alternative was unfathomably horrific and just getting more so. Grief and peace, grief and peace. But it was nice to just sit there at the kitchen table and talk about her and all this mudslide of a summer and how nice it was that the house was looking more like home now. Peace will win here. It’s only been a week, but we can feel it landing like big soft plops of a slow rain taking its time to let loose. It will be okay.