Life today ~ so and so , much trapped inside my character

I had a nice cup of coffee but the owner and the new trainee at the hostel made me feel awkward. Okay I'm changing my language. I felt awkward. Was too much in character. They flirted with me.
I guess men flirt with women all the time. I should stop reacting like that. But I'm still affected, it makes me sad because I feel as if they create a field where, if I don't accept to be present as a flirt, I feel I'm not accepted.

Later I spent the whole day going around the city trying to find canvas for my workshop. Finally I did find but didn't manage to get to the shop as I was exhausted.

Then I visited my friend here and once more I felt diminished to a low form of life by his majesty. I'm tired of all that.

Lots of rain, my period, the back tube of my bicycle now requires air every day, bumpy country roads, lots of mud. Almost had an accident with my bicycle, twice.

There's also a new guy in the dormitory room, the Japanese trainee. This transition is truly a long one this time.

Of course there were SO many things to be grateful for. Really that much !!!
But if I painted the day..it would have been a black painting.
It's alright, black is good.
I'm just so very tired.
I got some chips, I'm going to eat my chips now...