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God. Fk. So uncomfortable

How do I explain this succinctly?

My friend (co-director of art school that I work at) recently got fired/resigned... I don't know exactly what happened there...

I am laid off (but still go in a contract basis), and I teach there, and sell my art there...

She got into a big fight with the other co-director, and things got really ugly.

Now I am in between the two of them.

I feel the need to be professional because I do make good money there when I teach and sell things.

But I feel like I am betraying her, and she asked me to come over to hers after I taught, and she got clearly very upset by me having been there, and that I mentioned the other director asked me to come in and essentially... teach him how to do her job.

She got visibly very upset and said, "You can just go in and be the new me!"

Then she asked me to leave, and then she kept telling me to not feel guilty when I left, and told me she loved me before I left.

I DO feel guilty though, and like the biggest jackass.

I feel like it would be really unprofessional for me to just leave the art school hanging and I can't burn bridges in this community, but I also feel like I should stand by my friend and just shirk everything there.

Ugh.

I know she understands but I hate how upsetting this has to be because of things that were said between the codirectors... and I just don't even know. It seems like he's claiming she resigned, but I don't think she did.

What he's doing is illegal. There is a board meeting tomorrow, and I volunteered to come in as secretary to reccord minutes, and I think I might ask to see an official resignation letter. Or see what else I should ask for, that is still professional, but trying to protect my friend.

Sorry this is so long. As a sidenote my friend is also going through a very messy divorce at the same time.

If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
Ontheroad · M
If it were me I'd have a real heart-to-heart talk with my friend and explain, or even print what you just wrote and give it to her.

You are in a difficult, almost no-win situation... sort of between a rock and a hard place, and if this friend is a real friend, she will understand and let it go.

You need the work and outlet for your art. This isn't the time to fall on your sword, so to speak.

I know it sucks, and I know you feel for her, but unless you have an out (another job and place to sell your art), then you don't have a choice.
That's difficult... But I think asking for a resignation letter is fair, and trying to find out what happened exactly between the two of them. Then you can make a better informed decision about staying and going, explain that better to whomever may be hurt by that, and get some peace of mind about making the right choice. I think part of your guilt comes from not knowing if you did the right thing, and with the information you have currently available, you can't know.
deadgerbil · 22-25, F
Very sad situation. I would try to figure out what exactly leash lead to her being ousted and then go from there
caccoon · 36-40
@deadgerbil yeah I think I can lead the board toward requesting that information
deadgerbil · 22-25, F
@caccoon bc you don't want to pick a side just to find out they were in the wrong
caccoon · 36-40
@deadgerbil well I was there when they were talking and she showed me the texts. She didn't officially resign, but asked if he wanted her to "step down".

Which to me, is not really a resignation
Selah ·
Sounds messy as hell. It's best to get as much information as possible before making decisions and choosing sides.
Harmonium1923 · 51-55, M
I don’t have a solution but I’m sorry you’re in the middle. 💚
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MethDozer · M
Just knowing the very little bit you've told me about this person and her current situation I would kinda guess she's just becoming a bit unglued from the monumental stress and having a bit of a existential crisis. A lot to sort out and monumental change deal. Her reaction to me sounds like she isn't upset with you and understands your position, but just the situation as a whole is overwhelming and you're the innocent bystander.
caccoon · 36-40
@MethDozer your totally right

I think she doesn't blame me at all, but it's so hard for her and I totally get why

So I think I'll try never to talk about it, but I know she'll ask 😣
MethDozer · M
@caccoon I thinm that's what I would do to if in that situation. Just avoid talking about anything to do with it unless directly asked.
caccoon · 36-40
@MethDozer yeah, I think that's the best course of action

It just sickens me to be there without her. She is the heart and soul of that place and I don't think it will actually survive without her, but I don't think she could ever work with the other codirector again with what he's said to her

 
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