It's difficult being an astronaut riding alone on the earth.

To my gf I seem to just be her cook, evening TV companion, and oles caretaker when she wants a full night's sleep. I need a bit more than that. I can pay to have someone cook for me, do my nails, give me a massage, and even a happy ending, but that is so empty. So sad. I feel very isolated. Soon, she will go to the lake for the summer. How do I hold it together? I feel like an astronaut going to another star by myself. I have lots of books. Movies, classes, transportation, and a phone. That just means my space ship is huge. The people around me are just holograms to make me think I'm not alone. I have no family or friends. Basically, I am dead but still breathing. Why?